I should probably explain that Dwight Schrute is a character on “The Office“, which is one of the best T.V. shows ever. My family loves this show, and we watch it every weekend, and sometimes in between. Dwight is the dorky, safety-minded, beet-raising sidekick, and all of these are mostly based on real life events. Mostly.

• You clean off your desk so it’s incredibly neat.
• You help your sister clean her desk so it’s incredibly neat, making the one remaining sibling look like a slob just because she has old math papers and pens and books and pajama bottoms on her desk. 
• You actually buy a Dwight Schrute Bobblehead Doll.
• Or, failing that, you make a Dwight Schrute Bobblehead Doll. See photographic evidence. 
• You actually buy a Schrute-Buck T-Shirt.
• You go around yelling “Dwight Schrute!” from the Dwight Schrute recruiting video……..
• …and you try to get people to join “Dwight’s Army of Champions”. If they don’t join, you vow to attack them with the North…
• …but tomorrow, because today is almost over.
• On the aforementioned dest, you stick pencils between the desk and the wall, and then pretend to knock them over with your phone.
• You do violent air guitar to get yourself pschyed before a test.
• You make yourself an ID badge that says Security Level Three, and then you remind yourself not to get excited, that’s out of twenty.
• Before you do anything, you ask yourself “is this something an idiot would do?” and if the answer is yes, you don’t do it.
• Whenever your cell phone rings, you answer it by saying, “Dunder-Mifflin, this is ________”.

Dwight Schrute

 

My brother’s Dwight Schrute doll.