On our trip, we had a different dinner each night- Mexican, barbecue, Chinese, pizza…..but for lunch we mostly went to Cracker Barrel. And Cracker Barrel is a nice enough restaurant, but it’s exactly the same, at every single one, except that in the midwest you have to remember to say “club soda” instead of “seltzer”. Also, they somehow think that it is attractive and homey to hang farm implements from the walls, as if a flea market had exploded in there. I can just imangine the meetings,

” ‘And so we thought that so we always have a table on hand for emergencies, we could hang a scythe from the wall!’

Nah, let’s make it a hockey stick. A scythe is too intimidating.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘I raided the attic last weekend and I found a really stupendous washboard! ‘ 

‘Excellent! Washboards and hockey sticks it is! And let’s add some pitchforks for good measure!’ “ 

So by the third or fourth time we went there,we were bored. By the way,these little incidents happened at various Cracker Barrels, not all at the same one.

My family has all these nicknames for Cracker Barrel: Iron Skillet, Rusty Bucket, Oaken Table, ect.

So when the seating hostess asked “How many, please?” Mom said, “twenty-four.” The girl looked around for the other nineteen, and Mom told her that we were still waiting on some of them.

We enjoy messing with Cracker Barrel employees. While Ben and I were looking around in the store, Ben found an Advent calendar. (It was August, but……) When you opened the little doors, they each played a different Christmas Carol. Of course, Ben opened all 28 little doors, and they each sang their Christmas carol at the same time. Then we walked away. An employee came over to investigate the racket, and when she saw the calendar with all the doors gaping open, she gasped “Oh my goodness!” and ran- literally ran- over to shut all the doors, except the first one, which played O Come All Ye Faithful very softly. 

Then Ben and I took on the toy department. They had one of those parrots that repeated whatever you said back to you, and Ben really had some fun with that.

Ben: Cracker Barrel stinks!

Parrot: Cracker Barrel stinks!

Ben: And all of their food is overpriced! And they sell cheap junk from China!

Parrot:  And all of their food is overpriced! And they sell cheap junk from China!

Ben: I hate Cracker Barrel!

Parrot: I hate Cracker Barrel!

Meanwhile, I found an accordion. Which actually wasn’t so hard to play, so I played Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star, and then Ben played some stuff. By this time Mom was in line for the checkout, and when she heard us playing she must have rolled her eyes or something, because the man in front of her said,”Well, at least they have a reconizable melody going!”. and Mom said thank you, they were her kids, and they’d had ten years of music lessons so it should sound good.

At a different Cracker Barrel, the waitress asked Dad if he wanted sugar in his coffee. He replied, “ix-nay! ix-nay on the sugar!”.  He is the only person I know who speaks Pig Latin to the waitstaff.

On Cracker Barrel’s Official Website, they are now offering “The Last Stand”, by Classic Alabama, a Cracker Barrel Exclusive.

This is my sister and my mom’s arm at a Cracker Barrel.