This is an amazing collection of viola jokes. I mean, unbelivably huge. I sincerely urge you to go check it out…..and then use them in conversation, especially if you are a) a violinist, b) talking to a violinist, or c) you hate viola players. Violas get a really bad rap….they’re sort of the loser instrument of the orchestra. (Note: I am not expressing personal animosity towards violists, in fact I have known some very nice and talented violists, but the general stereotype is that violists are losers. It’s sort of like choosing to play the French horn, and knowing that there will never be enough of you to play all the parts, nor will there ever be a lyre designed to fit your instrument or a teacher who was originally a horn player. The best you can hope for is a trumpeter with a little bit of horn thrown in. Can you tell I play the French horn?)

Examples of hilarious viola jokes that you will want to memorize and tell to your friends:

Q:What’s the difference between a viola and a trampoline?

A:You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

Q:What’s the definition of a minor second?

A: Two violists playing in unison.

Q:What’s the difference between a violin and a viola?

This one has three answers:

A.The viola burns longer.

B.The viola holds more beer.

C.You can tune the violin.

See how humorous viola jokes can be? They can be adapted to fit almost any situation. For example, the boy who sits behind me in band is constantly leaning forward and telling viola jokes, except he cleverly changes the word “viola” to “French horn”. The only thing that makes this bearable at all is that he sometimes looks at me first and says, “Not you.” That means he’s going to insult Ryan.

So, I urge you to tell a viola joke today! And if you’re not musical, I should point out that a viola is like a violin, only bigger and it doesn’t sound as nice, and a minor second is a dissonant type of interval. “Dissonant type of interval” means it sounds bad. If you don’t know any musicians to insult, try telling the following knee-slapper, courtesy of my brother.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?

A: To get to the other slide.

He also has an excellent (in the eyes of a 12 year old boy) one about three people called Manners, Poop, and Shut Up, but this is not the time.