Our New Vicar

Next week is Pastor Dave’s last Sunday with our little church, and then we’ll have a new pastor. A woman pastor.

I have very high hopes for this lady.

I hope she will be exactly like Dawn French.

Because our congregation is very much like Saint Barnabas’.

For example:

Woman: I do the flowers.

Vicar: Excellent! What have we got this Sunday?

Woman: Well, we’re in mourning for the reverend Pottle….

Vicar: Carnations, then?

Woman: Yes…and I was thinking I might put a pineapple in the middle of them.

I can think of two examples very similar to this from our own church: the first one involved a man suggesting we do away with palm branches on Palm Sunday, because in Jerusalem they didn’t have palms and would have used acacia branches (which just begs to be taken further: Jesus wore sandals and didn’t shave, and He rode on an actual donkey. Also, He was actually crucified on an actual cross, as opposed to pretending to be while a crown of thorns made out of a wreath form slipped down around his neck. )

We only did a passion play one year, and it was a disaster.

The second example that springs to mind is the suggestion that, to conserve space, we have the florist cut up the Christmas tree and weave the branches around the cross on the wall.

Florist: You mean the cross? That’s there now? In the sanctuary?

Mhm, there’s nothing like cut-up greenery to symbolize crucifixion at Christmastime.

Anyway, I get to meet the Reverend Hale tomorrow—I imagine it will be very much like the video, only without the drinking because we’re unfortunately Methodist.

Advertisement