I started out as an anti-Yankees fan.

Mainly because nearly everyone around here is:  they grew up in New York, their extended family lives in the Bronx, “best team ever”, “26 rings”, etc etc. I’m not actually sure why, but nearly everybody I know is a Yankees fan…so of course back in fourth grade I decided I was a) going to follow baseball, and b) not be a Yankees fan.

I quickly learned that this meant I must either root for the Mets or the Red Sox. The Phillies, despite being from Pennsylvania, weren’t really on my radar at that point. I chose the Red Sox…because they have the coolest name in baseball.  (The Senators would have been a close second until they no longer existed.)

So I started following baseball religiously and I became one of those people who argues about it constantly and says things like “the Angels are 34 and 50″ , when in fact no one really cares. I listen to the games, when I remember, and I always check the stats in the next morning’s paper.

I was insanely happy first in 2004, when the Red Sox won their first title in an eternity and broke the curse of the bambino; and then in 2007, when they beat my friend’s beloved Rockies.  I made fun of the Yankee’s payroll, I don’t think they should have fired Torre, I gloated at the Indians slaughtering them by 20 points or so both times it happened, and I was hoping for a Yankees-Dodgers series this year. Of course, the Dodgers were supposed to crush the Yankees in four games.

Instead, it’s the Phillies and the Yankees.

Obviously I hope the Phillies win…back-to-back championships for PA, and defeat for the Yankees.

Please, people, they do not need one more thing to brag about: 26 should be more than enough.

Sophie and I are playing 20 Questions.

I have been taking Logic this year (memoria press), and I absolutely love it. It makes perfect sense, is fascinating, and the teacher is funny.

Ben has occasionally wandered through when I’ve been watching the DVD.

Me: OK, I’m thinking of something.

Sophie: Ummm…animal, vegetable, or mineral?

Ben: No Soph, don’t ask that! What you ask is, How many notes does it have?

Me: …four.

Ben:  Sophie, that means it’s animated but not sentient. So it’s an animal.

I pretty much just stood there in shock. How many 13-year-olds, without studying, memorize the Poryphyian Tree?

I am proud to be his sister =)

This is the one subject this year that I actually loathe.

For the first time EVER in my entire school history, I am getting a consistent B and working my butt off to maintain. NOT a good feeling.

I’m not sure why this is: I don’t know how I fail to grasp the concepts. Something goes wrong in the units and conversions (I converted a whole problem last week into m/sec, when it turns out it was supposed to be mph because it was a problem involving a BMW. Aughh.)

This is stuff you run into in real life, everyday situations…it should not be so difficult!

I need a tutor.

Actual conversation today:

Boyfriend: How’s physics?

Me: Awful. I don’t know why I can’t figure out how long it takes a car to brake.

Him: Easy…you got a ten-year warranty, ten years and four months or so.

for my class “Creative Expression”, on shopping, an Activity Dear to the Hearts of the American People.

 Except for during The Recession. Which Is Bush’s Fault. And is Now Over because Ben Bernanke Says So. Never mind that people are still losing their jobs left right and center.

Last week we went to Kohl’s. Kohl’s is a department store where we had numerous gift certificates (or “Kohl Bucks”) to spend. This turned out to be nearly impossible.

You wouldn’t think so, would you? You’d think that it would be practically EASY for two girls and their mother to shop indiscriminately.

Nope.

As Mom said, “What we have here is a forced shopping situation”.

This is how humans react when faced with one:

• Step One: Return ugly purses. Of course the salesperson makes a mistake, which requires several more salespeople of succeedingly higher levels of management to rectify.
• Step Two: Clothes Shopping. I don’t like clothes shopping because…it involves shopping. And clothes. Neither of which are high on my list of priorities. Also, you have to try things on, which is always kind of hellish isn’t it?
• Step Three: Buying Clothes. This step involves using your Kohl Bucks, which is a little hassle.
• Step Four: Setting off the security alarm because the clerk forgot to take off the tag.
• Step Five: Housewares Shopping. Blah.
• Step Six: Try and figure out what the codes on the speaker mean…for example, “Rainbow seven! Rainbow seven!”
• Step Seven: Sit in the shoe area while Mom takes over the Housewares Shopping
• Step Eight: Don’t Laugh when Mom realizes she has had her shirt on inside-out for the last half hour.
• Step Nine: Set off the alarm for no discernable reason.
• Step Ten: Buy housewares and discover that, due to several inexplicable and mysterious sales and discounts, we still have not spent all our Kohl Bucks.
• Step Eleven: Mom goes to shop for towels while Sophie and I play on the escalators.
• Step Twelve: Purchase towels. Again encounter the discount monster.
• Step Thirteen: Go stir-crazy from 3 hours of shopping. Mom runs off to buy an expensive item so the Kohl Bucks are sure to be spent. I go up the down escalator.
• Step Fourteen: Buy the ridiculously pricey item. End up having to pay $3 instead of $20…discounts at work, folks!
• Step Fifteen: Escape the store. Eat taco bell. Take 2 tylenol.

Driving. BLAHHHH.

I would be perfectly happy and an excellent driver….if only there was no reverse, neutral, hills, highway, or curves.

Since there are, I really, really loathe driving.

I tend to use the word “stupid” a lot. My mother has bellowed the word “JEEEEZUS” twice. I have hit the garage door 3 times. I have pointed out to my parents that this is not as bad as their friend’s son, who drove over a TREE, approximately 18 times.

On the other hand, driving has brought out some interesting differences in my parents.

Dad tends to stiffen as a passenger, beginning with the garage (which I ONLY hit 3 times), and constantly give little tips, such as “track the curve!” or “stay to the left!”. His right foot is in a constant state of extension, and he taps (by which I mean “crushes”) it vigorously against the floorboards when I need to brake.

He also has this tendency to speak like a robot as soon as he gets into the passenger seat (true example: “Prepare to execute the lateral maneuver!”) and to warn me of all possible emergencies that could arise (true example: Notice the pedestrians!”) (Note to the true example: they were 3 blocks away).

True example #3:

Dad: Watch out for this truck up here!

Mom: Doug. It’s 200 yards away and on the other side of the road.

Mom, on the other hand, tends to remain silent (read: off in her own little world of knitting and books and singing) and only speak up when there are actual emergencies, such as I am about to hit a sign on the highway.  Until she gets a bee in her bonnet, and then I’m in trouble. She likes to invent little excercises, such as “Drive 20 miles per hour while telling me how to make a proper turn” or “take a mint while keeping your eyes on the road”.

I never anticipated that she would be the calmer parent in the passenger seat.

I once asked how she did it, and she said “valium”. Ha. Ha.

Ben and Sophie are forced to be my passengers, and spend most of their time cracking jokes.

Actual conversation from last week:

Mom: Look out your window and tell me if you see the lines.

Me: NOOOO! I’ll crash.

Mom: No you won’t honey, just look quickly.

Me: NO! Stupid lines.

Mom: DO. IT.

Me: (Looks. And immediately swerves to the left) STUPID DRIVING!

Mom: Oh Lordy. Did you see them?

Me: What?

Mom: The lines, sweetheart.

Me: Yes. Stupid lines.

Ben: Did you see them out the driver’s window or the passenger’s, Liv?

An interesting list of words that started out as acronyms that I came across recently…most of them you’ll know, but still.

(actually…I looked it up. After reading The View From Saturday for Language Arts. I highly recommend that book, by the way. It’s lovely. I was however disappointed that POSH and TIP are thought not to be acronyms, like the book asserts.)

• Sonar
• Laser
• Radar
• Scuba
• Gestapo
• OK
• Interpol

So guess what my driving school’s name is?

That’s right: The Sheila S. C——- School of Automotive Excellence.

Their record is spotless!

However, it has only been a month and a half.

And today, I nearly crashed into a little old man who was coming out of the dialysis center. After we got through that one, I parked (crookedly!) and mom asked what my backup plan was. This is my backup plan: Jesus Take the Wheel. My main plan is drive 5 or 10 under the speed limit if at all possible, never move my arms from their position, avoid other cars and people and animals at all costs, and say “hoooooly crap” and “ahhh scary!” a lot.

This is possibly not the best approach.

I asked mom yesterday if we could drive in a different neighborhood where I don’t know anyone (about 2 minutes after forcing my friend’s mother off the road) and she replied, “No honey, I think people need to become aware of the danger.”

I’ve driven to violin lesson 2 weeks in a row: the first time, I pulled in wrong and had to get out of the car to walk over and punch in the keycode; the second time, I slowed wayyyy down for a speed hump only to realized that there was no speed hump; and then I discovered that it is a bad idea to talk with your hands while you drive.

Driving is a lot harder than it looks.

Part two.

I promised!!

This has been a really strange school year: I took the PSATs (189 composite…above average but not my goal)…and I did two AP classes (but didn’t take the AP tests), and I did Sonlight Core which was REALLY FREAKING DIFFICULT, and I did a LOT of music…and I was a total bum. So my average day has been get up between ten and eleven, shower eat and school, leave for rehearsal at 12:30, get back around three, and cram in school between then and six.

I want next year to be fun! I want to have time to do extra things like debate team and community music groups,  I want to score over 200 on the PSATs and do well on the real SATS, district orchestra, etc etc etc…oh so many goals

AND I ONLY HAVE TWO YEARS LEFT AT HOME: HOW CRAZY IS THAT?

So I’m doing summer school! And I am actually going to get up at a decent hour and do work!

I will not be done with literature till July, unfortunately…and then I will start next year in September.

In math I am doing a course that is designed to take three semesters. If I do three days a week I’ll be done in September and can spend October reviewing basic algebra and geometry before the test. Then no more math till January! Which clears up concert season.

Science I just have to finish out the end of the year…half a test, a dissection, and an experiment and I’m done! Then next year is physics.

I am teaching myself psychology for fun out of an old college textbook I bought at a garage sale.

I am continuing Latin and Word Power Made Easy (My vocabulary book, which I ignored for the better part of the year, actually did it, adored it, and felt like a fool) and starting back with French II. Oh and logic on DVD.

I am getting a bunch of books from the school and library to read for fun school, especially history because history is the one subject I’m not any good in at all.

Is fun school an oxymoronic phrase? I mean that I’m getting educational books to read because I’m interested, not for credit. Meanwhile, Ben has decided to breed a blue raspberry.

I’ll let you know how all of this goes next week.

You know it’s bad when you lack new posts so often that you get no spam.

I have (meaning will throughout the course of the next few days) constructed several “update” posts for your convenience.

Cause you all love to read about my boring life, right?

I should blog about international issues or something, that would get readers. Except I don’t know that much about international issues.

This is the music update post!

Band is over. Right now, I am thinking band is over forever, because I don’t plan to do it next year! Mainly because I haven’t learned anything from the current teacher. I have promised to come to the concert though. Our band concert was a few weeks ago, and it went fine. My one solo was great, the others were average but also not really important. The giant horn solo Rick did he messed up, so he started saying extremely bad words and I started patting his back, which I am sure will look really professional on the DVD.

We also had to wear formal (meaning dressy) spring outfits, which I owned none of so we had to go dress shopping. I hate clothes shopping. Then I actually wore the dress (which Sophie picked out) and had a lot of compliments…when my friend’s mother mentioned it for the fourth time a week later I realized I probably should dress up more often.

That same week I had orchestra auditions, and I was irrationally nervous (I rarely get nervous) and messed up in the audition…so I got 8th chair. Which isn’t bad by any means, but it was a personal worst. That was the violin audition…even after learning all the music I opted not to try out on viola (after hearing them I feel confident I could have done fine, however) because what was a crush-situation turned into a stalker-situation to the point where I was actually scared. And there is a song blog on youtube about how I am not dating this person. So I’m trying not to engage that mess at all.

Then, I hurt my wrist. Playing baseball.

Fortunately, it was my right wrist. Unfortunately, it got all bruised and swollen and I wasn’t able to lie to my mother about the pain (I tried but I’m a terrible liar) so I had to go to the doctor and get an x-ray. It is not broken. We don’t think. But I got pain meds and I had to wear a brace, which was just really awkward but better than constantly protecting my wrist from people.

So I got hurt on Sunday, went to the doctor on Monday, and had giant multi-hour rehearsals on Tuesday and Wednesday. Getting a bad chair, playing a lot of horn in symphony, and refusing to join chamber orchestra turned out to be a blessing in disguise with my wrist. The concert was Wednesday night…I thought it was only OK but the director is pleased.

I am done with public school music for the year! My last day was yesterday: it was accompanied with a nice certificate and exhortations to practice for districts over the summer.

The districts piece is Mozart: Concerto no. 3. It’s not terribly terribly difficult, but it is very challenging to be a standout player with Mozart, because everyone and their cousin knows how to play it. 

I now have two more violin lessons and then the recital in a few weeks. I just practiced at home for the first time since Saturday (such a lack of practice that my violin went out of tune! Which it never does), and that was TERRIBLE. Forget the last two phrases being shaky, the whole thing is shaky now. I am playing this piece called “meditation” from an opera called Thais, by Jules Massenet. It is incredibly slow and finicky and currently sounds like a weasel is caught in a clothes dryer. Ben is playing the piano with me both at the recital and at church, and then we are doing a duet which I hate.

If you want to come let me know, we were supposed to invite people but I never did.

Saturday is the music festival! Which is a big deal in our little town: everyone plus  a ton of people from New York and New Jersey shows up. Ben and I are meeting friends, which should be lovely.

Then this summer I am going to practice my violin and my viola and learn the clarinet and oboe and possibly give a last hurrah on the horn.

More on that in the school update post.

Mom is gone today. She has a church conference to go to.

So I am in charge!!! Muahahahahaha!!!

I mean, this will be an excellent opportunity to test all my home-ec skills.

We just had the following conversation, none of which is made up or exaggerated…no, I am not lying. I know this is insanely inane.

Me (trying to turn on my desk lamp which has not been working for 2 days): Argh! Would one of you run downstairs and get me a new 40-watt bulb? Mine burned out I think.

Ben: Oh…I meant to tell you, I took your lightbulb.

Me: What? It’s right here, it’s just dead.

Ben: You know how Sophie’s lamp is really bright?

Me: Yeah…

Ben: That’s cause she has your good bulb. I put the old one in your lamp.

Me: WHAT? What the hell! Why?

Ben: I was helping her with math.

Me: So you took my lightbulb and replaced it with a broken one.

Ben: While I was helping her I sort of hit the lamp with the telephone so the wire thingy

Me: Filament.

Ben: Whatever. I hit it with the phone kind of hard so it broke and Sophie was trying to work in the dark and it was annoying cause she was whining and so I took your bulb and gave you the broken one.

Me: You couldn’t have gone downstairs and gotten a new one?

Ben: It’s like in Robin Hood, when you take from the rich and give to the poor.

Me: No. It’s not.

Ben: Yes! Like if a rich person has two boats and the poor person has zero then I come and eventually everyone has one boat and it’s even!

Me: That is a stupid comparison! This is like if a rich person has a boat they take care of and a poor person has a boat that they ruin because you hit it with a telephone reciever then you steal the rich person’s boat!!!  Also, I’ve been complaining about it for days and you just ignored it?

Ben: I meant to switch it out later….plus, you don’t even take that good care of your boat!

Me: YOU hit the BOAT with a PHONE which is why it broke, you moron!

Sophie: Boat?

Then we all collapsed in hysterical laughter.

I hope Mom comes home soon.