Today, as evidenced by the datestamp on this post, is December 20.
The last Saturday before Christmas.
I waited until today to do 100% of my Christmas shopping.
Yes, I am a fool.
I only last week realized that I needed to buy something for my sister’s birthday, so my mother helpfully took me shopping, after taking me to church, a choir rehearsal at a different church, AND my orchestra concert. Yes, she is a saint.
So once I got the birthday present out of the way, then—surprise surprise—it was time to shop for Christmas presents! YES! In December! Who would have thunk it?
Did I mention I am a fool?
Today happened to be conveniently located between snowstorms, plus Ben had to go to piano, so I decided to go out and do my shopping then. Because, as I have mentioned, the planning sector of my brain mysteriously malfunctioned this year, I only got gifts of the immediate family. The rest of you are getting free hugs.
Did I mention that this is the last Saturday before Christmas?
Moving on.
So Ben had piano, with his lovely patient teacher, who doesn’t scream “NOOO! NOT ‘I WANT TO HOLD YOUR HAND’ ! ANYTHING BUT ‘I WANT TO HOLD YOUR HAND’!” Which I sometimes do, not gonna lie. And then we drove from Pennsylvania to New York to New Jersey, so Ben and I could visit TJ Maxx while Dad began the grocery shopping.
While driving through Port Jervis I made the mistake of asking what the big deal was with the Erie Turntable. I wanted to hear something along the lines of “Port Jervis used to be the end of the line and it’s the largest turntable in the tristate area” or whatever it actually is, but Dad (being a Homeschool Dad) began with the sentence, “Well. At the turn of the last century….” at which point I essentially stopped listening. I was busy pondering whether there is a subtle irony in the fact that The Church of the Miracle of the Immaculate Conception is located on Ball Street. The result of this is that when I tuned back in what I heard was, “And then they took sap from the pine trees and they began to tan the hides….” and I resolved never to ask Dad a question again unless I really really cared.
Ben and I spent AGES in TJ Maxx, where we eventually found a present for Mom, and then walked over to ShopRite. This is where we found Dad, and he was not even through the vegetable aisle yet. He dashed around going “Swiss Chard! Where’s the Swiss chard? Excuse me! Young man!” , while I leaned helpfully on the cart and talked to Ben.
Then I said, “Since when do we buy prepackaged lettuce?” and Dad came over and pointed out that his cart was in fact in another aisle and I had been making derogatory comments about some complete stranger’s food purchases. Whoops.
The rest of ShopRite was torture. Mentally, I was banging my head against a shelf for most of the trip. Then Dad played his check-out game, wherein we each have to guess how much total money the grocery purchase will come to, and whoever’s closest gets bragging rights.
Then we had lunch, which was good because as most of you know I have some food issues.
THEN we went to our lovely neighborhood WalMart! Support local commerce, right?
And then we went to the library and now I have a whole stack of books for Christmas break.
Then we came home.
And despite being a fool, it was a nice day overall and I am happy with the presents I ended up buying.




