LaLaLa

I have a new project! As of yesterday!

I am learning to play…the viola.

Yes. The viola.

There is this sterotype that viola is for losers. Please set it aside while you read this post, and BEAR IN MIND that I was a vioLINist first.

When I was 3 I fell in love with the violin and begged my parents for lessons. I’ve been playing for 12 years now and I can do pretty much anything on the violin. Plus, it uses the treble clef which is normal.

 

My current violin is very good student quality and has a one-piece back that has been described to me as “mesmerizing”. Really.

Then when I was 11 I somehow ended up playing the piano despite not asking for piano lessons…I took piano for a year and then quit. I like to listen to it but it drives me crazy to play it. I mean, how are you supposed to get your hands to move different directions?

Then when I was 13 I started French horn. French horn is really from Germany and should not be confused with English horn, which is French and not a horn. More on that later.

Then I made this bet at a party which involved me switching to the viola. The person with whom this bet was made later kind of backed out, so I am playing violin with the orchestra in our spring concert but learning and auditioning on the viola as well. I am determined to get one of the first 2 stands. (that would be one of the top four people. out of nine)

I started yesterday. It’s a a borrowed instrument, Scherl and Roth, and so far it has not posed many dififculties. The only thing I’m struggling with is reading the music, because unlike a normal instrument it does not use treble (violin, flute, trumpet, horn) clef, nor does it use bass clef (cello, trombone, bassoon) NOR does it use the Grand Staff (piano and organ), which is stupid.

Also, I accidentally kept tuning the wrong strings because I was so used to using my finetuners without looking. And it’s bigger, so I haven’t completely gotten used to holding it yet and my fingers have to strech farther. Or further. Whichever is more correct.

My completely objective observations on viola vs. violin so far:

Viola pros:

• It has a very nice deep sound
• It’s easier to get “gigs” or orchestra positions because there’s less competition
• There’s less competition
• It’s easier to listen to than a violin when you’re a student

 

Viola Cons:

• The orchestral parts are boring
• There’s not even a whole lot of solo repertoire written specifically for it
• Everyone will crack jokes and/or think you’re a loser
• It doesn’t resonate as well as a violin or a cello
• The clef is unusual and you have to learn treble as well
• You won’t know how to shift (ha! ha!) (okay, i remained unbiased for most of the post.)

So my general summary so far would be: viola is a fun project and a good thing to learn, but not so amazing that I would tune down (ha!) my violin or horn playing to concentrate on it.

The REAL Heroes

There is this game called Guitar Hero.

 I do not personally play this game, but I know people who do, I have seen people play it, and I looked it up on Wikipedia, all of which qualify me to make gross judgements about it, right? RIGHT?

Anyway, as far as I can tell, this game consists of pretending to play the guitar. By pressing down “frets”, or large plastic buttons, on a fake guitar-like object. It is a national phenomenon. People spend literally HOURS pretending to play the guitar.  There is a Christian version of Guitar Hero called Guitar Praise. Now I wonder, “Why?”.

Why is it that people will not practice their school band instruments for twenty minutes each night, but they spend hours on the guitar? I mean, guitar isn’t even that hard to play! I personally can play Smoke on the Water, after only twelve years of musical training! There must be HUNDREDS of guitar players out there looking for jobs!

One of my friends made the observation a few weeks ago that people who play real instruments tend to not see the purpose of Guitar Hero, while Guitar Heroes can’t play real instruments.  This is very true.

I think that the makers of Guitar Hero should make new versions, involving instruments that are somewhat challenging to play. For example, Tuba Hero! Do you have any idea how much air it takes to play a concert tuba? And how hard they are to come by? I actually requested a change to a lighter instrument for pep band season this fall and my teacher promptly tried to force me to play the tuba. (No, I’m not sure how that’s lighter than a horn: I think he’s just desperate.) Plus, it would be intensely funny to see an entire nation of people pretending to play the tuba.

Also, Pipe Organ Hero! You could have special shoes to wear that made you walk funny, and “stops” and “swells” and “transversal flutes in the offing” and “manual levels” and all the other fun stuff pipe organists get to play with. Besides, the organ is ridiculously difficult to play, so it’d also be amusing to watch. (OK, if there’s at least two keyboards…with what, 88 keys each? Plus the pedalboard is another 88–that’s literally hundreds of keys that you would have at your disposal, whereas in Guitar Hero you have five. Just imagine the possibilities!)

Another tricky instrument, although not as tricky as the organ, is the French horn. French horn rocks. There are only three valves to keep track of, but it takes a really good embouchure (mine is frankly not that good) and a lot of control to play well. And instead of pretending to play Smoke on the Water, you would be pretending to play much more complicated and pretentious music like Mozart’s Horn Concerto no. 3. Trust me, when you say stuff like this people are much more impressed than if you say Free Bird.

Contrabassoon Hero—I actually have no idea how you play a contrabassoon, but a) it looks cool, b) it sounds cool, and c) no one ever plays it in real life, so I thought it deserved to be included here. Enough said?

Orchestral Conductor Hero: I envision this as a high-tech multicolored baton, which you would strap to your wrist and wave in the air in precise patterns. On the screen in front of you would be a virtual score, on a virtual rostrum, surrounded by a virtual orchestra made up of virtual drummers, oboists, violinists, etc. Your virtual self would put on your (virtual, of course) tuxedo, and walk out to the front of the stage, where you would bow, acknowledge the virtual concertmaster, and begin conducting. If you got off beat, forgot to cue, etc, you automatically would have to restart. Occasionally, you could also write virtual program notes and make touching asides to the virtual audience, who would throw rotten virtual food. There would of course be helpful assistance in the form of conducting tutorials.

I also like the concept of Cello Hero, Violin Hero, Flute Hero, Viola Hero, Tenor Sax Hero, Accordion Hero, and of course Bagpipes Hero.

music is my entire life…

From about three weeks ago until mid-June, at least. School has been sort of on a break….in the last week i have: practiced (of course!), done occasional chemistry and French, and managed to do quite a bit of Latin during downtime in the orchestra room.

My band concert was last night, the climax of months and months of rehearsals, and, as predicted, astoundingly mediocre! Actually, mr. swinehart said it was one of the best concerts he’s ever heard this band do, so either it was better than i thought or the band is usually worse. Apparently all three groups are on an upswing this year (according to the teacher, who might be a little bit biased….) and that rarely happens. Dad got numerous photos, in most of which I’m either looking away or talking, plus i am sooo pale that under the stage lights i look ill, so i won’t share them right now. mom has decreed that i will be wearing makeup to the orchestra concert next week, because “Ryan is no tanned person himself, but you made him look like he just spent a week in Florida!”. i personally would rather just make Casie and Joe look tanned, but i already have to wear a cummerbund, so…..

If anyone is curious, the hat this year was Mickey Mouse.

Speaking of which (actually, we weren’t speaking of this, but i want to share it and “speaking of which” is a nice segway, don’t you think?) i got my audition results back, and I’m fifth out of twenty, which is not great but not bad either (top 25%!), and better than i expected considering that i had to start one song over and my cumulative score was 160/200. I’m the highest freshman.

This week is insanely filled with my concert, Ben’s concert, practicing for the concerts, half-day rehearsals for the concerts, on-stage rehearsals for the concerts, possibly school, and on and on. then once the concerts are over we have the recital to prepare for and I’m filling in for the school quartet.

So, i guess that this post is just a really long excuse for not blogging as often as i want to.

 

Mea Culpa

I know, I haven’t posted in over a week. It’s been busy, on top of which Sophie watched the Sound of Music last week and my brain has decided that instead of thinking rational thoughts it will just play the soundtrack over and over.  It is shocking, but I actually know all of the words to “Sixteen Going on Seventen” and “Edelweiss” and “The Clock in the Hall”.

I am really not wanting to do school this week…grrrrr. Ben just finished his math and will not stop bragging about it. Plus I can’t play my horn this week cause the string on the back of the second valve wore out. PLUS in orchestra (or as swinehart calls it “orch”, which somehow to me says, “dork”) we are doing the Disney Classics MedleyFrom Hell. If I have to play It’s a Small World After All again I might die. In the band version of Disney Classics there are at least three different styles of playing that song, including polka and mariachi. Who exactly came up with the idea of mariachi It’s a Small World? Not to mention putting it in a piece of music that they will sell at exorbitant prices to high school band directors? And including in that music such annoying repetitive songs classics as “You Can Fly” and “Zip a dee Do Dah”? And were they drunk at the time? I need to know.

I don’t mind the band Disney music as much though because I hardly have to play; it’s mostly either rests, keeping-the-beat kind of notes, or Ryan Solo notes (there is a ridiculous number of horn solos. Most of them only last one note. I actually have one. I play four notes. Over two measures. It will be the highlight of my career I’m sure.) , but I’ll definitely be glad when this trip is over. Only 25 more rehearsals until our concert, so that’s only 10 rehearsals for me. Then there’s the recital, at which I will be playing half of the Bach Double because I somehow lost my mind and agreed to polish it up for my brother. Also a slow extremely finicky Handel Sonata.

 

I know that this is incredibly boring and you probably aren’t reading it anymore. My life will revolve around music and school for the next two months. I’m sorry. Coming tomorrow (I promise): Ethel the Singing Cow.