Happy Kansas Day.

Today is Kansas Day—who knew? 

My mom did. She made us a traditional Kansas meal.

Then we all tried to talk in Kansas accents but it became clear that if that continued we would be at dinner for several hours.

Kansas entered the Union on January 29, 1861. This year’s theme, for the official celebration, was “Kansans on the Go”. Amelia Earhart fits that description…and is Sebelius the secretary of transportation now?

No sorry. Secretary of Health and Human Services. Thank you Google.

This reasonably unattractive photo is of Ben and I at the center of the 48 contiguous states.

That’s pretty much the entire attraction.

This is another popular and fabulous Kansas attraction: the cabin where someone wrote Home on the Range, which is the Kansas state song.

Again, pretty much the entire attraction is in the photo.

This is the snapshot of all our Kansas memorabilia.

My wife and I were traveling on the Kansas Turnpike, bucking 30 to 45 m.p.h. crosswinds. At the tollbooth, I asked the attendant, “What do you people do in Kansas when the wind quits?”

The tollbooth attendant didn’t miss a beat. She answered, “We take the rocks out of our pockets.”

That is a vaguely amusing and yet incredibly true Kansas joke.

And here is our delicious Kansas Day dinner, comprising (comprised of? I can never remember) mashed potatoes, chicken-fried steak, white gravy, green beans, corn, peaches, and “relish tray”. This last one is apparently a Kansas tradition.

Jello with stuff in it is also a Kansas tradition, but fortunately we skipped that.

He Really Did Say a Gnaw!!

Continuing in Jimmy Carter’s time-honored tradition of being an important public figure and getting attacked by an animal, Mayor Bloomberg was bitten by Staten Island Chuck yesterday.

 

Staten Island Chuck is New York’s answer to Punxatawny Phil, who we all know is much cooler and less violent.

Bloomberg was holding him so he could predict the weather to the nation, who of course was paying no attention as they were all in Punxatawny looking at Phil.

But moving on. Chuck bit him on the hand, through his leather gloves, “nicking it” and drawing blood. Bloomberg wrapped his hand in his handkerchief until he could visit a doctor.

 

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why they are animals, not pets.

 

 

Punxatawny Phil predicts more winter. Staten Island Chuck says no. Any thoughts?

Groundhogs Day

Is right around the corner!

 

So I was GOING to post this really cute video…but it got taken off YouTube. It’s on mom’s FB though if you want to check.

I guess I shall post the link to the website it’s originally from: http://www.groundhogdreams.com/

A Day Out

Today, as evidenced by the datestamp on this post, is December 20.

The last Saturday before Christmas.

I waited until today to do 100% of my Christmas shopping.

Yes, I am a fool.

I only last week realized that I needed to buy something for my sister’s birthday, so my mother helpfully took me shopping, after taking me to church, a choir  rehearsal at a different church, AND my orchestra concert. Yes, she is a saint.

So once I got the birthday present out of the way, then—surprise surprise—it was time to shop for Christmas presents! YES! In December! Who would have thunk it?

Did I mention I am a fool?

Today happened to be conveniently located between snowstorms, plus Ben had to go to piano, so I decided to go out and do my shopping then. Because, as I have mentioned, the planning sector of my brain mysteriously malfunctioned this year, I only got gifts of the immediate family. The rest of you are getting free hugs.

Did I mention that this is the last Saturday before Christmas?

Moving on.

So Ben had piano, with his lovely patient teacher, who doesn’t scream “NOOO! NOT ‘I WANT TO HOLD YOUR HAND’ ! ANYTHING BUT ‘I WANT TO HOLD YOUR HAND’!” Which I sometimes do, not gonna lie. And then we drove from Pennsylvania to New York to New Jersey, so Ben and I could visit TJ Maxx while Dad began the grocery shopping.

While driving through Port Jervis I made the mistake of asking what the big deal was with the Erie Turntable. I wanted to hear something along the lines of “Port Jervis used to be the end of the line and it’s the largest turntable in the tristate area” or whatever it actually is, but Dad (being a Homeschool Dad) began with the sentence, “Well. At the turn of the last century….” at which point I essentially stopped listening. I was busy pondering whether there is a subtle irony in the fact that The Church of the Miracle of the Immaculate Conception is located on Ball Street.  The result of this is that when I tuned back in what I heard was, “And then they took sap from the pine trees and they began to tan the hides….” and I resolved never to ask Dad a question again unless I really really cared.

Ben and I spent AGES in TJ Maxx, where we eventually found a present for Mom, and then walked over to ShopRite. This is where we found Dad, and he was not even through the vegetable aisle yet. He dashed around going “Swiss Chard! Where’s the Swiss chard? Excuse me! Young man!” , while I leaned helpfully on the cart and talked to Ben.

Then I said, “Since when do we buy prepackaged lettuce?” and Dad came over and pointed out that his cart was in fact in another aisle and I had been making derogatory comments about some complete stranger’s food purchases. Whoops.

The rest of ShopRite was torture. Mentally, I was banging my head against a shelf for most of the trip. Then Dad played his check-out game, wherein we each have to guess how much total money the grocery purchase will come to, and whoever’s closest gets bragging rights.

Then we had lunch, which was good because as most of you know I have some food issues.

THEN we went to our lovely neighborhood WalMart! Support local commerce, right?

And then we went to the library and now I have a whole stack of books for Christmas break.

Then we came home.

And despite being a fool, it was a nice day overall and I am happy with the presents I ended up buying.

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot like Hanukkah!

Just kidding!

Not that it doesn’t look like Hanukkah or anything.

But Christmas—CHRISTMAS!—is in two short weeks!

You always know it’s getting to be the holidays when stores start playing Christmas music all the time. What I don’t entirely understand is, why don’t they play GOOD Christmas music? They always seem to pick the most horrible carols, sung by the most awful singers of all time. I can sing better than some of these people.

So, to go along with last year’s favorite Christmas Carols post, this one is about least favorites.

Yesterday I was in Shoprite (I do not reccommend going to Shoprite on Tuesday because that is apparently Large Quantities of Elderly People Run Over Your Toes With Their Shopping Carts Day) and they were playing an average bad Christmas album, when “Deck The Halls” came on. Deck The Halls, as I have always understood it, is a fairly peppy tune, which is meant to be sung as follows: “Deck the halls with boughs of holly, falalalalaaalalala” etc. If you are like me and have speed issues, you may wish to sing it like this: “Deckthehallswithboughsofholly, falalalalalaaaalalalala”. Either of these renditions is perfectly acceptable.
The man on the intercom, however, was not singing it like that. He wasn’t even singing it slowly. He was singing at approximately 32bpm, which is as slow as my metronome will even GO. As far as I can tell, this is a man who was out late at a holiday party and had a LOT of eggnog before he decided to make this recording. See actual rendition:
Deck…the…halls…with…boughs…of….hollllyyyy….
fa…la…la…la…laaaaaaaaaaa…la…la….la….la…..

PLUS he sang it in a nasal voice.

So why won’t stores play decent Christmas music?

These are the main songs I heard while out shopping:

-All We Are Saying is Give Peace a Chance
-Jingle Bells
-Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer
-Baby It’s Cold Outside
-Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
-Frosty the Snowman
-Carol of the Bells
-We Wish You a Merry Christmas

I don’t really even like most of these songs. Especially not Give Peace a Chance.

So, do any of you have a Christmas song that you just can’t stand?

And, Happy Holidays!

That was a joke, but last Sunday at the band concert our director (Yes, this is the cosmos man) said, quote, “Our last tune is We Wish You a Merry Christmas, and we do hope that you have a happy holidays, no matter what you believe.” And he was dead serious.

Freakishly Snowy

OK, so yesterday…we had a blizzard! How cool is that?

It was actually really enjoyable from the time I woke up to about 1pm, when the electricity went out. The schools were canceled…not for me personally, but everyone else got a snow day…in October, which is probably some kind of school record. And today there was a 2hr delay as well.

All the adults wrote the “it’s gonna snow tomorrow!” rumors off as kid’s wishful thinking for a snow day. BUT NO!!!

We got maybe 8 inches of snow before it stopped…and the power came back on at 6 this morning.

These pictures were taken early in the afternoon…around the time we gave up on the power and started getting out candles, so there’s not that much snow in them, but you get the idea.

There are still leaves on the trees…and snow on the ground…

I had a wonderful opportunity to do all the schoolwork I’ve been procrastinating on, such as reading books VII-X of Paradise Lost.

The backyard.

Ewww messy kitchen!

This picture is my favorite. The branches do not normally belong in the front garden; they fell off a tree. Loudly and dramatically.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas….

Christmas is coming…

The goose is getting fat

Please to put a penny in the old straw hat

If you have no penny a ha’penny will do

If you have no ha’penny then God bless you.

 

I am pleased to announce that the holiday season has officially begun! We recieved our first Christmas catalog last week! (order now before it’s too late?)

Congratulations to LTD Commodities for having a strange sense of timing!

I am pschying myself up by finishing Week 2 of my school year and listening to the Chieftains, a cool Irish folk group that put out a Christmas CD.

Hark the herald angels sing….

Memorial Day Weekend

And I can’t think of anything to write!

Today we had church, followed by the annual church choir picnic, always an interesting event…we all ate a ton of watermelon, and I watched Star Wars for the first time…Yoda is my favorite. Some of the dialogue was really predictable. Other than that, nothing special happened.

Tomorrow is the parade, which I plan to watch but am not actually marching in, and the Boy Scouts are having a yard sale to raise money for summer camp.

Coming Sometime Soon, Whenever Olivia Finally Gets Her Act Together: Why You Should Not Let a Twelve-Year-Old Boy Have Free Reign With a Digital Camera.

Cinco de Mayo

Yet another non-major holiday to celebrate!

Contrary to popular opinion, Cinco de Mayo (literally, “may fifth”) is not Mexican Independence Day. It commemorates a battle that Mexico won against the French/Mexican traitor army under Benito Juarez.

Ben celebrated by writing a new, sort-of Mexican sounding song about Cinco de Mayo. Mom sang ”Cinco de Mayo” to the tune of ”Pico de Gallo”, which is something completely different. I celebrated by doing my VERY VERY LAST PROBLEM SET EVER, at least until I begin Advanced Math in the fall. I still technically have a week of math left but it’s all geometry proofs, which are easy.

So now I’m finished with English, and, for all intents and purposes, with math. Next to obliviate: Latin.

Amo, amas, amat…..

Happy May Day!

May Day is Sophie’s favorite holiday. And, as you know, I love obscure holidays. Most young people have no idea what May Day is, so here is a description from InfoPlease.com that made me laugh:

May 1st, often called May Day, just might have more holidays than any other day of the year. It’s a celebration of Spring. It’s a day of political protests. It’s a neopagan festival, a saint’s feast day, and a day for organized labor. In many countries, it is a national holiday.

Spring…politics…saints…organized labor…AND neopagans! What can beat that?!?

Wait a minute. What’s a neopagan? Is that like a specific branch of paganism? Do they have Methopagans and Presbypagans? How about nondenominational pagans?

Off to check what May Day has to do with Paganism.

OK, it’s an ancient Celtic festival called Beltane, involving fire and mock excecutions. When my mother and grandmother taught us the May Day tradition they never mentioned that !!

Back to the springy, saintly version of May Day.

It’s also Saint Walburga’s Day! Awesome!

We made and distributed about 20 baskets to various neighbors this morning, and the rest of the family did more while I was in orchestra. So, 30 baskets total! And dozens and dozens of cookies! Which reminds me, there are more downstairs waiting for me to eat them. See you tomorrow!

Unless I don’t post tomorrow!

In which case I’ll see you…not tomorrow!