Statues

They’re home! From South Dakota! And they came bearing many tales of adventure…such as, “And then we went to this really awesome place…it’s called Hi-Vee” and “Then Daddy was sooo embarrassing in the bookstore” and “gosh, they sure do say you bet a lot out there!”. To which I naturally replied, “You bet!”.

And they found the base of a statue…I’m not sure why it was just the base and no statue. Perhaps someone stole the statue. Or maybe the Public Works Commision ran out of money. Or they somehow forgot to put it up. Or, possibly, they just found the large squarish chunk of rock to be extremely attractive and decided to leave it the way it was.

Whatever.

Anyway, of course they had to stand on it! Which led to this picture:

It’s quite historically accurate in every detail…save perhaps the green parka. And the sneakers.

Also, I have no idea what he’s trying to be, except that it looks vaguely drum-major-ish.

Ben is exactly the type of person to have the opportunity to act like a statue and use it to pretend to be John Phillip Sousa.

This one is called, “Assistance Please!”

Dad bought a book called the Worst-Case Scenario Travel Handbook, which contains several handy hints such as how to say “Assistance please!” in a variety of languages. “Assister sil vous plait!” is one. Also, “Bitte, Hilfe!”.

This photo I do not have a name for.

But it’s pretty cute.

Updates!

So, I haven’t blogged in a while. I can’t think of anything to write about, and I really really hate posting something just for the sake of posting. But I have to write. On account of stupid Language Arts. So tomorrow I’ll be going through and getting some ideas for next week’s post. In the meantime, here’s a few updates on life in Milford:

The Family: Dad took Ben and Sophie to South Dakota this weekend, to see Gram. I did not go, obviously. They are having an excellent time, although they picked possibly the worst weekend to go to South Dakota, weather-wise. They call us every few hours. Mom and I have been enjoying the time at home, but it’s insanely quiet. Also, there are pretty much no dishes to wash, it’s amazing. We went to the library and Netflix and got a whole bunch of movies that Sophie and Ben wouldn’t or couldn’t watch, and spent the weekend watching them. Calendar Girls was the best. The one we saw last night was called Mixed Nuts, and had virtually no plot whatsoever.

Facebook: It’s where I’ve been spending all my computer time. I’m sorry.

Music: Is actually pretty good! French horn is on the upswing, which means violin is not, but hey, I’ll take what I can get. I am pleased to announce that I can lipslur arpeggios in 8 keys, most of the time. And I think I actually found all the winter concert music, which is a small miracle inasmuch as my band teacher doesn’t like me and I skip band half the time. I have a SOLO!!! A GOOD solo, no less, in the Overture to Candide, which is by Leonard Bernstein, who is a fantasic composer. So I’m happy. Violin is good too…. Districts is in less than a month *bites fingers* so I have a lot of work to do for that. The cantata is all right, except that the rehearsals all last at least 2 hours and the choir keeps coming in wrong. On the bright side, I know their entrances really well! And in orchestra we’ve been playing Christmas music all week.

School: Blah. It’s OK. I’m passing. I finally finished reading Paradise Lost last week. I hate this year.

Other Stuff: What other stuff?

Ben’s Fort

There’s a new one! The old one was deemed unsafe. So Ben went to Home Depot and made me wait for about an hour while he found adequate rope and pulleys and hooks. You’d think all rope is pretty much equal, but apparently not. For example, Ben would pick up a skein of rope and go, “Well, this one is 20lb test and 1400 kilowatts and 100 feet long….but THIS one is ALSO 20lb test BUT only 1300 kilowatts AND 98 feet long…” and I was able to try on every pair of construction goggles there was, learn quite a lot about installing window screening, and play with all the little metal doohickeys, and I WAS STILL BORED. And he FINALLY found the appropriate rope, which, believe it or not, was the EXACT SAME ROPE DAD POINTED OUT IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!

This is the new fort, complete with flag. It has a special name like “Fort Powderpuff” or something, but I don’t remember it off the top of my head. The old one was “Fort Anaconda”, I think.

This was actually supposed to be a picture of Ben in midair jumping on his fort, but I mistimed it.

Ben does yoga: The Crouching Frog Pose.

(Actually, he’s not doing yoga. I don’t know what he’s doing. Heck, I don’t even know whether the Crouching Frog Pose exists. But it sounded nice, don’t you think?)

Ben also recently built a pond, which is very cool indeed, and even has some frogs living in it. Also some pirates.

 

AND, my Taize item of the day, and one of the great mysteries of life: Why do people take photos like this?

No one ever looks good in them! It’s painful for the person who’s taking them! Especially in this case because the boys and I are sunburned! Inevitably someone’s mouth and chin get cut off! I don’t know why I’m ending every sentence with an exclamation point! But I am! My eyes look weird here. And please, please, please, no matter how bored you are, remember that photos like this never come out the way they should.

Randomness

The Friar Chuck Update: Friar Chuck versions 1,2, and 3 have been dispatched. Dad finally bought a Havahart trap to catch them. They promptly figured out how to lift up the trap and get the bait. It’s a constant battle.

In other news, Mom is in the process of staining the armoire, which is a long hard slog. Our kitchen is stain central, and the fumes are going to everybody’s heads.

Last weekend Mom took me to see Mamma Mia, which is a musical based on the songs of ABBA. Mom and Dad went to see it for their anniversary this year, and she liked it so much she took me too. It’s actually a really cute movie. Plus, it has Meryl Streep, and Peirce Brosnan, and Colin Firth* and Julie Walters, so how can you NOT see it? Dad got Mom the soundtrack, so now we are all listening to ABBA nonstop. Mom has even decreed that it’s unamerican not to like ABBA.Take a chance on meeeee….

I have gotten Facebook and become addicted.

I have also started school. Grr. BUT, hopefully I will be able to take December off the way I did last year! A&P is going super so far, and so is Latin. Math is just really really annoying, especially today’s lesson where all Dr. Shorman is was yak on and on about the area of transversal laterals or something. Brit Lit is OK, but Sonlight, so involved. I’m done with Beowulf and onto Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. I just started Logic, and I haven’t begun French yet, although I have a new resolution to work harder at it after being to Taize. It comes easily to me but I haven’t been studying it the way I should. Orchestra and whatever band I end up with starts next week.

More on Taize tomorrow.

Um, that’s all the news from here I guess…boring boring end of summer…

*Incidentally, he has a really high voice. Like in Manly Men, the first verse, only actually very true.

Guess Who’s Back from France?!?

And I’m not really in the mood to write right (write/right, get it? oh, I just crack myself up) now, but my trip was great, the flights were fine, and I’m glad to be home.

And here’s a preview of what’s to come here on Lapsus Calumni:

• Olivia learns deep inner spiritual things about herself, such as the fact that she cannot sing in German and juggling is harder than it looks
• Sometimes, the stuff you think is most pointless in school, like knowing when the Baroque Era occured (answer: in the past) or how to type on a French keyboard, comes in the most handy.
• When Chanting Becomes an Obsession
• Olivia thinks France could be Improved By:
• Ethel the Singing Cow Goes to Paris
• Olivia Really Should Not Be Here, She Should Be Preparing Her Presentation for Saturday
• But She Is
• And She Is Also Chatting on Facebook
• And Bread and Chocolate for Breakfast is really really good
• Also, It’s Weird ReLearning How to Use a Knife, Fork, Chair, and Napkin
• I’m Not Sure Why I’m Referring to Myself in the Third Person
• But I Can Now Chant In About 16 Different Languages
• I Just Thought You Needed to Know That

Ben Goes to Camp

Ben left yesterday morning for Scout Camp. Last year Mom closely supervised his packing, with the idea that this year he would be able to do it himself. So he packed. And according to him, he had “everything all organized”, and everything on the list was included.

So this is how it went:

He was, in his words, “all packed”. Dad queried him, “COMPLETELY TOTALLY PACKED? 100% PACKED?” Because Dad is familiar with how Ben’s mind works. Ben assured him that he had everything on the list.

This here is the list in question. Ben had indeed read it and marked it extensively.

He was, in fact, so prepared that he felt free to engage in the ancient Boy Scout Tradition of Interpretive Packing Dance.

Dad, on the other hand, was not so confident. He insisted on reading the list to Ben whilst Ben rummaged through his trunk to make certain he had the item in question. This is just a brief snippet of their conversation:

Dad: Bug spray. Do you have bug spray?

Ben: Umm…I think maybe I forgot that.

 

Dad: Well, let’s be finding some. Do you have sunscreen?

Ben: Yes.

Dad: How much?

Ben: One of those pink bottles.

Dad: Is it full?

Ben: Kinda full.

Dad: How full?

Ben: Kinda full.

Dad: Let me feel it. (feels it…) Ben, there is NOTHING IN HERE! You get some appropriate sunscreen and you get some right now!

Ben: OK.

Dad: How many shirts are you bringing?

Ben: Umm…three.

Dad: Ben, you’ll be gone for a week.

Ben: So?

 Also, Ben is a fan of the Throw It In There method of packing, which made it pretty much impossible to find anything at all.

He does not subscribe to ordinary reason such as, Put Your Sleeping Bag on Top So You Can Find It When You Get There.

He also neglected to pack any shoes until Dad reminded him.

 

And the saga continues….

So.

I am supposed to be doing AP British Lit this summer. So far I have failed miserably. I have done precisely three days worth of questions, rather than three weeks. I also need to blog every day. I’m wondering how soon Mom will let me plead trip preparation and get out of it. Um, and I also have an essay to write and poetry to study.

I’m supposed to be memorizing some sonnet that begins, “Having been tenant long to a rich lord, I (archaic equivelant of sucked it up goes here) and resolved to be bold, and something about a new lease unto him to afford, forge a new contract and cancel the old. There at his mansion I him sought….blah blah…” and at the end of the poem he dies. It’s exceedingly depressing.

So instead of focusing on that today, I decided to play with my pretty new camera (it’s pink!) and take photos of Ben, which I would then condense into a blog post titled, “A Day in The Life of Ben”. Clever huh?

 

This is how it turned out:

2:12 pm: Ben sits on bathroom counter. “This is ma territory” he proclaims.

2:13 pm: Ben goes in Olivia’s room to mess with her stuff. “Hey! It ain’t movin!” is what he said.

2:14 pm: Ben goes to his own room…

… and chooses a book.

He lies down and begins to read.

He reads.

And reads.

I get bored and take semi artsy photos of him reading.

2:20 pm: What the heck, I’ll just do this.

MomQuotes

is the title of a new page I have just published, containing all the wacky things my mother has said over the years. There will of course be more as soon as I get my act together and think of them.

Meanwhile, here is a list of DadQuotes (he has a bunch too, but not enough for a separate page and ParentQuotes didn’t have the same ring to it.)

• When God was handing out brains, he thought he said trains and said, “I’ll take the next one”.
• This could be a positive thing.
• If your mother wakes up there’s gonna be hell to pay!
• I’ve met auctioneers who were easier to understand.
• Beats sitting on the back porch poking your eye out with a sharp stick!
• What are you thinking?
• Buddy, buddy, buddy.
• There are one-there are two- there are SEVERAL reasons why this was a bad idea.
• It’d be one thing if you were playing consertos, but….
• Don’t escalate.
• You’re escalating!
• Stop escalating!
• What is going on here?
• Ask your mother.

Party Time!

 

Guess who’s getting braces in three short days?

Hint: It ain’t him.

Not them either!

Yup. It’s me! Unfortunately.

So obviously I must eat tons and tons of candy to make up for all that time I will lose in the next year.

Braces are depressing.

I keep trying to take my mind of them, but it’s not working so well.

For example, I had a long arguement with Ben over who was taller, Frank or Joe. (the Hardy boys. Yes, I do know that they’re fictional.) Frank is obviously the taller one, because I distinctly remember that at the beginning of each book Frank is the tall, dark, thoughtful one, whereas Joe is “blonde, (pick one: slightly stocky/heavierset/more muscular) than his brother, and more impulsive”. Ben refuses to believe that. We now have candy riding on the outcome.

Then I distracted myself by listening to Ben sing, which was pointless because he was singing “Goodbye Toby” to the tune of “Goodbye Stranger”, which is one of the most annoying songs on the planet. Except for “Seasons in the Sun” and “It’s a Small World”.

So ultimately I distract myself by eating more candy, which brings my thoughts back to the reason we have so much candy in the first place, namely braces. So I am forced to fall into a deep depression and watch “Foul Play” for the fifth time.

 

If you see me tomorrow, and I seem more hyper that usual, this is why.

And Two And ONE…

High school orchestra: three words that strike fear in the hearts of anyone with ears.

And it’s our concert tomorrow night! I’m chair number 5, not bad but better than I expected considering how well I played in the audition, and I sit pretty much exactly where I sit in the band concert, so if I screw up, everyone notices. The only good thing about this chair is: a) it’s the top of my grade, and b) I don’t have to turn any pages.

 

We will be butchering playing many famous recognizable pieces, including Beethoven’s Fifth. This is actually the piece I’m worst at, I believe. In the words of my friend, “It’s going to sound like a cat got stuck in a piano!”.

Our opener is Russian Easter Overture, by Rimsky-Korsakov, I think, but my folder’s at the school so I can’t check. It has about four solos, all of which I’m trying out for in the hopes that I’ll get one. There are 8 people who also want them, so I figure I have a fifty percent chance of succeeding.  This song is very repetitive, and it’s also fourteen pages long.

The next song on the program is (guess what!) Disney Classics! I think that pretty much speaks for itself.

Then we have three more strings-only songs, in one of which I have a sort-of solo moment (he’s having the first six people come in one at a time, and then chairs seven-twenty join them.)

Our symphony opener is Russian Sailor’s Dance, which is extremely famous and featured in many beginner books as a way of teaching staccato. Other notable songs include Beethoven’s Fifth (“and two and one”), Pirates of the Caribbean (“It’s the same damn melody over and over for four pages!”), and Mussorgsky’s Promenade and the Great Gate of Kiev (“Kiev. Isn’t that chicken?”). (Quotes thoughtfully provided by various random orchestra friends)

Our closer will be Lord of the Dance, which is fun.

 

Hopefully, it will not go too badly.