&c

I am feeling a little incoherent right now and I don’t really want to write…but.

I do not understand Obama’s new stimulus package. I thought that to restrict inflation you were supposed to restrict the cash flow, not flood the market with more money. But then again I have had no economics at all and he’s the president.

Ampersands are cool, don’t you think? Even the word ampersand is cool. And they’re hard to handwrite.

All the school I did today was math, some Language Arts, and Latin. And music. In Latin I really need to learn some more words, because all my translation excercises are about the Gallic Wars or the Virgin Mary.

Literature is Emma this month. I didn’t actually care for Emma THAT much…I’ve read it before. I thought that the plot was good but not big enough for a three-volume novel. So far this year my favorites have been the Importance of Being Earnest, Sherlock Holmes, Beowulf, and Three Men in a Boat.

Viola update: I am really happy now because my orchestra director gave me unlimited access to an entire drawer full of old solo and small ensemble music, proving that all you have to do is ask. I chose a Corelli sonata to start with, and a transcription of the Telemann violin concerto and a graded repertoire book of easier pieces.  Another plus is that after playing viola, I can find the big intervals on the violin much more easily. AND I just got nearly begged to do a gig on the viola after having played for three days!

That was a true statement that sounds much cooler than it was, but I’m gonna keep the illusion of coolness and not elaborate.

I actually was kind of enjoying writing about nothing but it turns out I have a mysterious violin lesson they all forgot to tell me about, so I have to eat supper, get dressed, find my music and get out the door in 15 minutes. And I didn’t practice my Wolfhart this morning….uh-oh.

LaLaLa

I have a new project! As of yesterday!

I am learning to play…the viola.

Yes. The viola.

There is this sterotype that viola is for losers. Please set it aside while you read this post, and BEAR IN MIND that I was a vioLINist first.

When I was 3 I fell in love with the violin and begged my parents for lessons. I’ve been playing for 12 years now and I can do pretty much anything on the violin. Plus, it uses the treble clef which is normal.

 

My current violin is very good student quality and has a one-piece back that has been described to me as “mesmerizing”. Really.

Then when I was 11 I somehow ended up playing the piano despite not asking for piano lessons…I took piano for a year and then quit. I like to listen to it but it drives me crazy to play it. I mean, how are you supposed to get your hands to move different directions?

Then when I was 13 I started French horn. French horn is really from Germany and should not be confused with English horn, which is French and not a horn. More on that later.

Then I made this bet at a party which involved me switching to the viola. The person with whom this bet was made later kind of backed out, so I am playing violin with the orchestra in our spring concert but learning and auditioning on the viola as well. I am determined to get one of the first 2 stands. (that would be one of the top four people. out of nine)

I started yesterday. It’s a a borrowed instrument, Scherl and Roth, and so far it has not posed many dififculties. The only thing I’m struggling with is reading the music, because unlike a normal instrument it does not use treble (violin, flute, trumpet, horn) clef, nor does it use bass clef (cello, trombone, bassoon) NOR does it use the Grand Staff (piano and organ), which is stupid.

Also, I accidentally kept tuning the wrong strings because I was so used to using my finetuners without looking. And it’s bigger, so I haven’t completely gotten used to holding it yet and my fingers have to strech farther. Or further. Whichever is more correct.

My completely objective observations on viola vs. violin so far:

Viola pros:

• It has a very nice deep sound
• It’s easier to get “gigs” or orchestra positions because there’s less competition
• There’s less competition
• It’s easier to listen to than a violin when you’re a student

 

Viola Cons:

• The orchestral parts are boring
• There’s not even a whole lot of solo repertoire written specifically for it
• Everyone will crack jokes and/or think you’re a loser
• It doesn’t resonate as well as a violin or a cello
• The clef is unusual and you have to learn treble as well
• You won’t know how to shift (ha! ha!) (okay, i remained unbiased for most of the post.)

So my general summary so far would be: viola is a fun project and a good thing to learn, but not so amazing that I would tune down (ha!) my violin or horn playing to concentrate on it.

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot like Hanukkah!

Just kidding!

Not that it doesn’t look like Hanukkah or anything.

But Christmas—CHRISTMAS!—is in two short weeks!

You always know it’s getting to be the holidays when stores start playing Christmas music all the time. What I don’t entirely understand is, why don’t they play GOOD Christmas music? They always seem to pick the most horrible carols, sung by the most awful singers of all time. I can sing better than some of these people.

So, to go along with last year’s favorite Christmas Carols post, this one is about least favorites.

Yesterday I was in Shoprite (I do not reccommend going to Shoprite on Tuesday because that is apparently Large Quantities of Elderly People Run Over Your Toes With Their Shopping Carts Day) and they were playing an average bad Christmas album, when “Deck The Halls” came on. Deck The Halls, as I have always understood it, is a fairly peppy tune, which is meant to be sung as follows: “Deck the halls with boughs of holly, falalalalaaalalala” etc. If you are like me and have speed issues, you may wish to sing it like this: “Deckthehallswithboughsofholly, falalalalalaaaalalalala”. Either of these renditions is perfectly acceptable.
The man on the intercom, however, was not singing it like that. He wasn’t even singing it slowly. He was singing at approximately 32bpm, which is as slow as my metronome will even GO. As far as I can tell, this is a man who was out late at a holiday party and had a LOT of eggnog before he decided to make this recording. See actual rendition:
Deck…the…halls…with…boughs…of….hollllyyyy….
fa…la…la…la…laaaaaaaaaaa…la…la….la….la…..

PLUS he sang it in a nasal voice.

So why won’t stores play decent Christmas music?

These are the main songs I heard while out shopping:

-All We Are Saying is Give Peace a Chance
-Jingle Bells
-Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer
-Baby It’s Cold Outside
-Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
-Frosty the Snowman
-Carol of the Bells
-We Wish You a Merry Christmas

I don’t really even like most of these songs. Especially not Give Peace a Chance.

So, do any of you have a Christmas song that you just can’t stand?

And, Happy Holidays!

That was a joke, but last Sunday at the band concert our director (Yes, this is the cosmos man) said, quote, “Our last tune is We Wish You a Merry Christmas, and we do hope that you have a happy holidays, no matter what you believe.” And he was dead serious.

The REAL Heroes

There is this game called Guitar Hero.

 I do not personally play this game, but I know people who do, I have seen people play it, and I looked it up on Wikipedia, all of which qualify me to make gross judgements about it, right? RIGHT?

Anyway, as far as I can tell, this game consists of pretending to play the guitar. By pressing down “frets”, or large plastic buttons, on a fake guitar-like object. It is a national phenomenon. People spend literally HOURS pretending to play the guitar.  There is a Christian version of Guitar Hero called Guitar Praise. Now I wonder, “Why?”.

Why is it that people will not practice their school band instruments for twenty minutes each night, but they spend hours on the guitar? I mean, guitar isn’t even that hard to play! I personally can play Smoke on the Water, after only twelve years of musical training! There must be HUNDREDS of guitar players out there looking for jobs!

One of my friends made the observation a few weeks ago that people who play real instruments tend to not see the purpose of Guitar Hero, while Guitar Heroes can’t play real instruments.  This is very true.

I think that the makers of Guitar Hero should make new versions, involving instruments that are somewhat challenging to play. For example, Tuba Hero! Do you have any idea how much air it takes to play a concert tuba? And how hard they are to come by? I actually requested a change to a lighter instrument for pep band season this fall and my teacher promptly tried to force me to play the tuba. (No, I’m not sure how that’s lighter than a horn: I think he’s just desperate.) Plus, it would be intensely funny to see an entire nation of people pretending to play the tuba.

Also, Pipe Organ Hero! You could have special shoes to wear that made you walk funny, and “stops” and “swells” and “transversal flutes in the offing” and “manual levels” and all the other fun stuff pipe organists get to play with. Besides, the organ is ridiculously difficult to play, so it’d also be amusing to watch. (OK, if there’s at least two keyboards…with what, 88 keys each? Plus the pedalboard is another 88–that’s literally hundreds of keys that you would have at your disposal, whereas in Guitar Hero you have five. Just imagine the possibilities!)

Another tricky instrument, although not as tricky as the organ, is the French horn. French horn rocks. There are only three valves to keep track of, but it takes a really good embouchure (mine is frankly not that good) and a lot of control to play well. And instead of pretending to play Smoke on the Water, you would be pretending to play much more complicated and pretentious music like Mozart’s Horn Concerto no. 3. Trust me, when you say stuff like this people are much more impressed than if you say Free Bird.

Contrabassoon Hero—I actually have no idea how you play a contrabassoon, but a) it looks cool, b) it sounds cool, and c) no one ever plays it in real life, so I thought it deserved to be included here. Enough said?

Orchestral Conductor Hero: I envision this as a high-tech multicolored baton, which you would strap to your wrist and wave in the air in precise patterns. On the screen in front of you would be a virtual score, on a virtual rostrum, surrounded by a virtual orchestra made up of virtual drummers, oboists, violinists, etc. Your virtual self would put on your (virtual, of course) tuxedo, and walk out to the front of the stage, where you would bow, acknowledge the virtual concertmaster, and begin conducting. If you got off beat, forgot to cue, etc, you automatically would have to restart. Occasionally, you could also write virtual program notes and make touching asides to the virtual audience, who would throw rotten virtual food. There would of course be helpful assistance in the form of conducting tutorials.

I also like the concept of Cello Hero, Violin Hero, Flute Hero, Viola Hero, Tenor Sax Hero, Accordion Hero, and of course Bagpipes Hero.

Updates!

So, I haven’t blogged in a while. I can’t think of anything to write about, and I really really hate posting something just for the sake of posting. But I have to write. On account of stupid Language Arts. So tomorrow I’ll be going through and getting some ideas for next week’s post. In the meantime, here’s a few updates on life in Milford:

The Family: Dad took Ben and Sophie to South Dakota this weekend, to see Gram. I did not go, obviously. They are having an excellent time, although they picked possibly the worst weekend to go to South Dakota, weather-wise. They call us every few hours. Mom and I have been enjoying the time at home, but it’s insanely quiet. Also, there are pretty much no dishes to wash, it’s amazing. We went to the library and Netflix and got a whole bunch of movies that Sophie and Ben wouldn’t or couldn’t watch, and spent the weekend watching them. Calendar Girls was the best. The one we saw last night was called Mixed Nuts, and had virtually no plot whatsoever.

Facebook: It’s where I’ve been spending all my computer time. I’m sorry.

Music: Is actually pretty good! French horn is on the upswing, which means violin is not, but hey, I’ll take what I can get. I am pleased to announce that I can lipslur arpeggios in 8 keys, most of the time. And I think I actually found all the winter concert music, which is a small miracle inasmuch as my band teacher doesn’t like me and I skip band half the time. I have a SOLO!!! A GOOD solo, no less, in the Overture to Candide, which is by Leonard Bernstein, who is a fantasic composer. So I’m happy. Violin is good too…. Districts is in less than a month *bites fingers* so I have a lot of work to do for that. The cantata is all right, except that the rehearsals all last at least 2 hours and the choir keeps coming in wrong. On the bright side, I know their entrances really well! And in orchestra we’ve been playing Christmas music all week.

School: Blah. It’s OK. I’m passing. I finally finished reading Paradise Lost last week. I hate this year.

Other Stuff: What other stuff?

OK, so WordPress added an option wherein you can put POLLS on your blog!! And so I did one. Actually, the church website is on my mind so it’s church-related, but hey, look what I can do!!

How cool is that?

 

OK, I’m kind of easily amused.

Fun Fact…

…about Watchet Auf!

Bach wrote it to be performed on the 27th Sunday after Trinity Sunday (a fact clearly indicated in my music by the words, “Siebundzwangnesten Sonntage nacht Trinatis”) and the Sunday before the performance takes place is the 27th one after Trinity. What makes this cool is that  in order to HAVE 27 Sundays, before Advent starts, there has to be a really early Easter. So we are performing it in one of the few years it’s possible to space it properly!

Love,

–Music Dork

How to Get a Violin Ready to Play in Just Several Easy Steps!

Today’s Brit Lit assignment, a descriptive essay about HOW to do something. This is based on how Gawain slaughters a deer in Sir Gawain and the Green Knight.

The first step is to take your instrument out of its case. Now, this may sound easy, but trust me, it can be harder than it looks, therefore we will be dividing it into several substeps. The very first one is to determine whether you have a soft case or a student case. This is a fairly easy process, but contrary to what you might think, “students” can also use soft cases and vice versa.

Tip: if your case is molded black plastic it is a “student” type case. If it’s a different color and square or oblong, it is most likely a “soft” case.

 

*** Sidenote: Soft cases actually offer your instrument more protection, despite the name. ***

 

Unlatch the case. On a student style case you will simply lift the two silver latches and open the lid. On a soft case, you will lift the front flap, usually secured with a snap or Velcro, and slide the latch to the right. If the latch doesn’t go, try sliding it to the left. If it goes to the left, close it and turn your case right-side-up. If it won’t move in either direction, it is probably locked. This can present a problem: you will need to either: locate and use the key or, for a second choice, a bobby pin. If neither of these works, try metal cutters.

Once the latch is open, unzip the case and lift the lid. Notice that if you see only a flat layer of fabric, you have unzipped the wrong zipper and are looking at the sheet music holder.

           

 Lift the lid. Congratulations, you should see your violin! (If not, you have got a problem and should stop right here.)

           

Un-Velcro any straps that may be restraining your violin, and lift it out of its case. Hold it by the neck. The strings (four long thin wires) go on the top of the instrument. Set the violin down in a safe place (Hint: Not on the floor, the bed, a chair, or anywhere there are pets or children.) You should also have in your possession, preferably in your case, a shoulder-rest. The wide end slides onto the right bottom corner of the violin, while the thin end goes on the left. Note: Always put the shoulder rest on the BACK side of the violin.  Put the wide end on first and adjust to a comfortable position across the widest area of the bottom of the violin.

           

 Again, set the violin down in a SAFE, non-dangerous place. Look into the case again. You should see, restrained against the top of the case, a long thin pointy stick. This is your bow. Unclick whatever latches are holding it in place and remove it from the case, always holding it by the fat end, or “frog”. There should be horsehair on the bow. If there is no horsehair, you need to find immediate help. (Tip: Not Wikipedia.) Holding the bow by the “frog” with one hand, locate the silver piece at the very bottom of the bow with your other hand. This is called the “nut”. Turn it to the right until the hair (the bow hair, not yours) is an appropriate tension. This can be roughly determined by holding the bow at either end and squeezing down on the middle—you should be able to balance a pencil in between the hair and the stick without excessive tension.

           

Congratulations! You must be a very bright person to have used these instructions! And we wish you the best of luck on your musical journey! May it be legato and arco and no stupid 2-octave F scale that I still have trouble with, so much trouble, in fact, that it wrecked my auditions in 8th grade.

 

Not that I am bitter.

Christmas is coming…

The goose is getting fat

Please to put a penny in the old straw hat

If you have no penny a ha’penny will do

If you have no ha’penny then God bless you.

 

I am pleased to announce that the holiday season has officially begun! We recieved our first Christmas catalog last week! (order now before it’s too late?)

Congratulations to LTD Commodities for having a strange sense of timing!

I am pschying myself up by finishing Week 2 of my school year and listening to the Chieftains, a cool Irish folk group that put out a Christmas CD.

Hark the herald angels sing….

Randomness

The Friar Chuck Update: Friar Chuck versions 1,2, and 3 have been dispatched. Dad finally bought a Havahart trap to catch them. They promptly figured out how to lift up the trap and get the bait. It’s a constant battle.

In other news, Mom is in the process of staining the armoire, which is a long hard slog. Our kitchen is stain central, and the fumes are going to everybody’s heads.

Last weekend Mom took me to see Mamma Mia, which is a musical based on the songs of ABBA. Mom and Dad went to see it for their anniversary this year, and she liked it so much she took me too. It’s actually a really cute movie. Plus, it has Meryl Streep, and Peirce Brosnan, and Colin Firth* and Julie Walters, so how can you NOT see it? Dad got Mom the soundtrack, so now we are all listening to ABBA nonstop. Mom has even decreed that it’s unamerican not to like ABBA.Take a chance on meeeee….

I have gotten Facebook and become addicted.

I have also started school. Grr. BUT, hopefully I will be able to take December off the way I did last year! A&P is going super so far, and so is Latin. Math is just really really annoying, especially today’s lesson where all Dr. Shorman is was yak on and on about the area of transversal laterals or something. Brit Lit is OK, but Sonlight, so involved. I’m done with Beowulf and onto Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. I just started Logic, and I haven’t begun French yet, although I have a new resolution to work harder at it after being to Taize. It comes easily to me but I haven’t been studying it the way I should. Orchestra and whatever band I end up with starts next week.

More on Taize tomorrow.

Um, that’s all the news from here I guess…boring boring end of summer…

*Incidentally, he has a really high voice. Like in Manly Men, the first verse, only actually very true.